Official Gear
Wear Your Triumph Over Traffic
Dress like you've never been stuck in traffic a day in your life.
Traffic Schadenfreude Collection
Premium merchandise for those who appreciate the view from above.
Best Seller
I Survived the 405 T-Shirt
Let everyone know you've witnessed LA's worst traffic nightmare from a safe distance.
$29.99
Above the Jam Baseball Cap
This stylish cap lets everyone know you're the type of person who literally rises above traffic problems.
$24.99
Congestion Choppers Rotor Keychain
A miniature helicopter rotor that actually spins! Fidget with it while stuck in traffic (as a passenger, please).
$12.99
Ironic
Honk If You Hate Traffic Bumper Sticker
The ultimate irony: a bumper sticker about hating traffic that will be seen primarily while in traffic.
$4.99
Instagram Ready
Gridlock Goggles
Novelty glasses for your flight that make traffic jams look even more chaotic. Great for Instagram!
$19.99
I Soared While You Snored Mug
Enjoy your morning coffee with a smug reminder of your superior commuting choices.
$18.99
Premium
Hovering Above It All Hoodie
Premium hoodie with helicopter silhouette over gridlocked traffic. As comfortable as not being stuck in traffic.
$49.99
Limited Edition
Aerial Schadenfreude Art Print
Beautiful aerial photography of terrible traffic situations. Paradoxically soothing wall art.
$34.99
Eco-Friendly
Traffic Tears Water Bottle
Hydrate with the collected tears of frustrated commuters (not literally, that would be weird).
$22.99
Bundle Deals
Save big with our curated merchandise collections.
The Commuter's Revenge Pack
Save 15%
Everything you need to flaunt your traffic-free lifestyle
- I Survived the 405 T-Shirt$29.99
- Above the Jam Baseball Cap$24.99
- Honk If You Hate Traffic Bumper Sticker$4.99
- Congestion Choppers Rotor Keychain$12.99
- Bundle Price$61.99
- Regular Price: $72.96 - You Save: $10.97
The Ultimate Schadenfreude Set
Save 20%
Our premium collection for the serious traffic tourist
- Hovering Above It All Hoodie$49.99
- Aerial Schadenfreude Art Print$34.99
- I Soared While You Snored Mug$18.99
- Traffic Tears Water Bottle$22.99
- Gridlock Goggles$19.99
- Bundle Price$117.56
- Regular Price: $146.95 - You Save: $29.39
Custom City Merchandise
Commemorate your specific traffic tourism experience with city-specific merchandise. Available for all our tour locations:
- •Los Angeles - 'I Survived the 405' collection
- •Atlanta - 'Perimeter Survivor' gear
- •Washington D.C. - 'Beltway Warrior' apparel
- •St. Louis - 'Spaghetti Bowl Conqueror' items
- •Portland - 'Smug Aerial Observer' collection
- •Coeur d'Alene - 'Small Town, Big Traffic' souvenirs
Custom merchandise can be pre-ordered with your tour booking or purchased after your experience.
Explore Custom Options
Corporate Gifting
Boost morale by reminding employees they could be stuck in traffic.
Complete Your Traffic Tourism Experience
Don't just take the tour—bring home the memories with our premium merchandise.